Archive for January 25th, 2020

Sometimes you have to do something

January 25, 2020

My parents and my in-laws are all deceased. My parents are far away in my hometown. My in-laws are not so far. I was suddenly seized with the notion that I should visit them for Christmas.

I took a longer lunch and drove to the Columbarium at Fripp Island. I had to call ahead of time and get a pass from the security gate. It’s a private island which means that it is a gated community.

Christmastime is HARD for me. We used to spend Christmas with my in-laws, and after Mr. X left, I was still invited for Christmas. His family knew what a scoundrel he was, and I and the children were included and he was not.

The pass was good for the rest of the day. I was sorely tempted to drive by their old house, but I only went to the columbarium. I get weepy and disgruntled enough for the whole season while everyone else are playing happy families. Plus there’s a coworker who is giving me attitude about taking longer than an hour for lunch, even though I have permission from my supervisor. Do you have things that you need to get done during the day that might require more than one hour or do you have someone to help you? Sometimes I need for people to show me a little grace instead of attitude.

The columbarium is a nice little private area with benches for rest and reflection. I had to look up the meaning of the word “columbarium. It seemed like it shouldn’t end with the phrase “bury ’em”, but that’s just the sound of it.

I have so many questions to ask them. Why didn’t either of you tell us that you had both been married before? Why did you pretend that you married each other in January of 1957 when you were really married in January of 1960? What happened that was so problematic that you concealed any history of your previous marriages? How did your parents go along with it all?

There were some folks next to them that I had met, but didn’t realize they were also deceased.

I had also met this lady. Her family donated the fountain in her memory.

I didn’t take any poinsettias with me. It was such a last minute trip I didn’t have time to sort that out.

I have been working on scanning all their old family photos. There’s a series of photos that indicate another family mystery.

And that’s a story for another day.