Hello! And Thank You for Calling Slipper Central!

In years past, right before Christmas, I would get seized with a fever to make stuff.  Christmas stockings, clothes, sweaters, hats, scarves, accessories, draperies, pillows, and table-settings, you name it, I would decide to take on projects of mammoth proportions with a deadline of Christmas morning.  Most of the time I succeeded.  It seemed to be a congenital obsession to procrastinate until the very last minute and then try to make something out of near-nothing, all the while hearing a combination of the drumbeat of doom and the trumpets of triumph.  Can she finish that last placemat in a set of four?  Can she?  Drat, broke a needle!!  Not to worry, there’s another needle to be had.  If.I.could.just.find.it.

(Insert heavy sigh)

A few years back, I had a little financial setback that caused me to seek additional employment, and I found myself working about 60 hours a week.  There wasn’t time for Christmas anxiety, at least not the kind I’d enjoyed in the past.  After a few years of working that kind of bone-crushing schedule, I reached a place where I just didn’t care about Christmas any more.  Because Christmas was not about a “holy day” of celebration, it was about mass consumerism.  I was of the opinion that the holiday needed to be taken back a notch, or three, and that we should live all year with the pleasure we afforded ourselves at Christmastime.  That theory runs parallel to my theory that we need to enjoy every day like we are on vacation, which is not altogether coincidental as to why I live in an RV. 

Two years ago before Christmas, I purchased and downloaded an amazing little knitting pattern for felted slippers.  The photos of the slippers were adorable, whimsical, comfortable, too good to be true.  They looked like a modified version of a simple ballet flat with a toe strap.  The online reviews got high marks.  I waded into deep water, and I made approximately 3.5 pairs of which ALL were disasters.  The toe shaping was wrong on this one, there were holes in the seams over there, the yarn didn’t felt on that one, and then the one where I modified the pattern, we won’t even discuss that one.  That project went back on the shelf. 

A few months back I resurrected the project.  I don’t what was wrong with the other slippers, and why there should be such bad karma hanging over them, but this time, the project grabbed hold and *took*.  I gave that pair to the girlfriend of the BabyBoy.  Which then caused consternation at her house because her mother was trying to steal her slippers.  Can you imagine, at Christmas time no less, coveting and stealing and plotting to overthrow the slipper queen.  So in an attempt to restore peace throughout my slipper kingdom, I cast on another pair, this one a peachy-pink called “water chestnut” (What’s up with that name?  What color IS a water chestnut?  I should know these things.  I studied interior design).

I made the first slipper and its accompanying strap, and felted the hound out of them (translation:  felted it a lot).  It was awesome and beautiful, and I only hoped I could make a mate to match. 

I knitted up the next slipper and strap, and, before felting, laid them out in a little before-and-after photo session, and discovered that a thief in the night had stolen the felted strap. 

I am so easily waylaid.  Now what to do?  If I knit another strap, I will find the first one, AFTER I have felted the replacement strap.  Then I’ll have an extra strap that I cannot use, and that will be a waste of perfectly good yarn.  If I do not knit another strap, I will never, ever find the first strap, even though I’m sure that Alice the cat has hidden it somewhere in the RV, perhaps up in the dashboard even though she is too large to hide in there any more.  That’s just the way things work in crazyland. 

So last night I sat musing over the cruel fate of the strap and the part I played in finishing these stinkin’ slippers.  For at least two hours, people.  That is sad.  I went to bed, and this morning when I shook out the bedcovers, what did I find?  Yup.  THE missing strap.  I have defeated the powers that control missing car keys, lost buttons, and best laid plans.  I.  Win.

Alice: "I cannot tell a lie...."


Alice: "Jopty did it."

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6 Responses to “Hello! And Thank You for Calling Slipper Central!”

  1. Kariann Says:

    Jopty (!)

    Luuuuv this post, love water chestnut, love your musing on Christmas, love that you found the elusive strap!


  2. Becky Says:

    I’m with Kari; good, good, stuff. It was great to have an allusion to dear Jopty again also. I really thought you would find it under Alice’s torso as she laid around in leisure, though. 🙂


  3. Jen Says:

    Now I’m really concerned. I share these genes!


  4. Jen Says:

    Still waiting on my slippers.


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