Meet the Churkey

This morning BabyBoy stopped by with a question and a cardboard box.  “Hi, Mom, have you lost a turkey?” 

Now, there are many ways that I could answer that. “Why, yes, son, thank you for noticing.  I was just wondering where I put my turkey.”  “Why, I’m not sure, son.  Let me check the refrigerator.”  “Why, no, son, I divorced your father.  Remember?” 


We have a neighbor named Carmine the concrete guy.  I couldn’t make this stuff up.  Carmine is from Joisy, and he really is a concrete guy, and he looks like he could be someone who would help someone else sleep with the fishes.  He, however, is a big softy and has several little bitty dogs that need occasional bathing and grooming, so BabyBoy goes to his house and takes care of the dogs.  Yesterday, Carmine called the BabyBoy to tell him that someone has lost a turkey, or rather Carmine has found a turkey, so BabyBoy went to his house this morning to pick it up. 

I wondered why Carmine wouldn’t want to keep a frozen turkey for himself, although actually the box looked too small to hold one.  The dogs were milling about, I’m sure to snag a bit of the turkey, and I’m thinking that my freezer is too small for even the smallest of frozen turkeys.

BabyBoy opens the box, and there’s the frozen turkey, but it’s not frozen, and it’s not a turkey.  He replayed the conversation from Carmine the Concrete Guy.

“And I’m tellin ya, this noice boid just comes upta me, like it KNOWS me.  And I’m tellin my woife Joycie that this is a NOICE boid and someboidy’s gonna be sad that they lost their boid.” 

At this point, BabyBoy interjects that he had enjoyed some nice fried toikey just last week.  And Carmine chided him, “No, no, no, this is someboidy’s boid.  Don’t be sayin’ that you’re goinna eat this noice boid.  You’ll hoit his feelings.”


A happy ending is in store for us.  This noice boid has gone to live with a mentally-disabled man who lives with his parents.  They have a flock of barnyard fowl, but they are too wild too handle, and this noice boid has apparently been hand-raised and enjoys being petted.  So the noice man is very happy to have this noice boid in his life. 

I love a noice ending.


6 Responses to “Meet the Churkey”

  1. Leo Says:

    That turkey looks a lot like a Plymouth Barred Rock.


  2. Linda Smith Says:

    Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! I wonder if this noice boid could get his own reality show, based in joisy???????????


    • ruthrawls Says:

      Oh, good one, Linda! But the boid would have to speak with a southern accent, and he could tell them he was really a misunderstood toikey, sorry, I meant, *turkey*, and then he would turn to the camera and wink. Or is this noice boid really a female? I didn’t check under the hood.


  3. Kariann Says:


    You truly couldn’t make this up!


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